Friday, March 04, 2011

Children— breaking down their walls

Before attempting any process in life we should first read the instructions. Every thing invented or purchased come with instructions. It doesn’t matter how or who invented the items, all come with published or verbal instructions. I know we sometimes operate things without reading the instructions, but the best outcome occurs when we take the time to first read the instructions.

We as parents or role models have instructions also (BIBLE).


The BIBLE instructs when dealing with children as follows… Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

The above BIBLE scriptures are just two of many instructions for the best outcome for raising successful children.

Let’s talk about those walls that our children put up; these are walls of safety, the child or children come with build in actions, most times they are NOT even aware that these walls exist, but they do. Each of us are born with these walls, when times are tough or we feel threatened, oftentimes we hide within our walls.

I have raised two children thus far; both are above twenty four years of age, and my baby is a teenager. My daughter is the center child, she isn’t my biological child, but I am still DAD. So I know a bit about raising children! Just because you didn’t father the child doesn’t mean you can’t be DAD or a positive role model. Our children need to see firm fathers, dads, father figures and moms working together giving them a process to use when they are grown ups. We have a great task before us, and we need all the help we can get.

Why are these walls up? First and foremost we as parents have failed to read the instructions that were designed for humans (BIBLE) for ourselves; we watched and learned from our fathers, dads, moms, father figure or role models and many of them provided destructive instructions. You see, what you associate with, you become. Show me a current parent that lose his or her temper, in other words, have a short fuse; I can trace it back to a problem father, dad, father figure, mom or role model. We all experienced problems growing up, and need to purge some of the bad habits learned. Note… we are never too old to learn things that are good not only for our child or children, but for us as well. There is nothing like being free of pain!

How can we pull those walls down and win our child or children back? The very first thing we should do is to apologize to our child or children asking for forgiveness for being a hot tempered father, dad, mom, father figure or role model. If you can do this, you are on your way to recovery. Tell him or her you love them, but remember LOVE is spelled TIME… you see, if you love someone or something you will spend quality TIME with them. Sadly, many of us black men fail to tell our child or children how much we really love them. We need to win back our young sons and daughters so that they can achieve their God given destiny. Future doctors, lawyers, inventors and many other gifts are in our children; let’s give them the best chance to obtain their destiny.

In closing, I challenge every father, dad, father figure or role model to step up to the plate starting today; tell your child or children that you LOVE them. Remember that love means TIME, and children will NOT let you forget. Let’s do a better job with how we throw around our words, when we say something, our words should shape who we are. Children everywhere are brokenhearted all because a father, dad, father figure or role model often times let them down even after giving them their word. Let’s take back the seat of fatherhood! Going forward, let’s be the very best father, dad, father figure or role model ever. I claim this right now in the matchless name of JESUS!

Blessings to all!