The New Husband Store

By: Ophelia Payne

A store that sells new husbands opens in New York City. Women can go here to choose a new husband. At the entrance is a description of the store policies:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors in this store. The value of our products increases as you ascend to each succeeding floor. You may choose any item upon arriving at any floor, or you may choose to proceed to the next floor, but you cannot go back down to revisit lower floors except to exit the building.

A woman goes to the New Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor One: These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor Two: These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor Three: These men have jobs, love kids, and are drop-dead gorgeous.

“Wow,” the woman thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor, and the sign reads: Floor Four: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, and help with housework.

“Oh, mercy!” the woman exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor, and the sign reads: Floor Five: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

The woman is very tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor Six: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the New Husband Store.

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Blessings to all,
CJ